what's a defining moment?

 I feel like society often misconstrues a defining moment as one that is meant to impact your entire life, and it has to be something grand or huge. I shared in this through my consumption of social media, television and just observing the people around me. 

In reality, defining moments can be so minute and almost insignificant that we overlook them if we aren't paying attention. We often highlight the need to celebrate the small wins, but perhaps looking at the small losses to identify what exactly is bringing us down is just as important?

A friend (hi glenn) thinks that every decision we make is a defining moment, for better or worse. I agree to an extent, but here's my take.

A defining moment doesn't have to impact the next 10 years of your life directly, but it may be a moment that defines your day, your week or your month. Why don't we revere these moments in the same way if we truly want to 'celebrate the small wins'.

For me this past week has felt like a whirlwind of little defining moments, moments that made me look inside and question lots of things about my life. Going out with friends and seeing/hearing their successes in school, work, life or even football is something to rejoice in, but when I returned home and sat there in bed, all I could feel was emptiness and a little bit of self pity.

I'm still figuring life out and that is okay, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. I hate not knowing the answers and having everything turn out exactly as I want it to. But football and life as a whole doesn't follow mine or anyone else's plan.

I've made amazing, life-long friends through football and have spent so much of the last three years of my life investing all my time and effort into manifesting a childhood dream, and I've reached a fantastic fucking place. But, I've realised that as you climb higher, everything tastes less sweet. 

I'm sure this feeling is similar to those of the rich and the wealthy as they accumulate millions, but I'm talking more about the moments that excite you. I feel like you start to take being able to play football for granted. There are people who spend an entire week looking forward to playing with their friends on the weekend. Shit like that puts things into perspective, even more when you realise you get paid to it.

I shouldn't let things like a bad performance or missing out on a call-up affect me as much as it does because ultimately there is so much more to life. And that is what I've spent the past few days really trying to reflect on. Who am I beyond just a dude that plays football?

This blog was something that defined me for a long period, and is something I still am passionate about so hopefully I'll be more active here but no promises. I'm determined to become an at home barista so that will be something I can identify with.

But in summation, what I want to say is that I've had a rough week and I found that speaking to family, friends and other loved ones around me really helped. Even if I didn't discuss the struggles I was having, their presence reminded me of the great people I have in my life and that there is more to life than football. But most importantly, the moments that define my days, weeks, months and years are just as important as one another and I'm gonna make sure I'm more present in appreciating every single one of them. 

You only get so many moments in life so don't let the bad ones keep you down and make sure you enjoy the good ones.