A piece of honest pie

There will be defining moments in your life, that when you back on them and think wow, that could’ve gone so differently, probably for the worst. In the last 2 months I’ve been down in the dumps like never before, evaluating what it is I’m really doing, what am I chasing, what version of myself am I happy being. I almost gave up on the one thing that makes me happier than anything else in the world and yet here I am presented with the opportunity of a lifetime to grasp something I’ve been working tirelessly for. At the same time I’ve been brought back down to Earth, being forced to realise that I’m not the perfect human, and I’ve got so many areas I need to grow in and mature. Making mistakes is forgivable, but sitting in silence, not learning from them isn’t, and that’s something I want to preach. 

I probably sound like some pastor worshipping different values, but in the past month, I’ve realised more than ever that the work you put in when no one is watching will always be more valuable than anything else. As long as you know deep down you’re trying to better yourself to achieve your goals and change yourself for the better that’s all that really matters. I want to be someone that my family and friends can be proud of, someone that when I reminisce about this phase of my life, I can say wow he had his shit together. There’s no point waiting to realise this shit when you’re older if you know it right now. Take the wake up call and cherish it. You never know what opportunity could come tomorrow, and as long as you keep the same attitude in adversity and in success you’ll succeed in some capacity, I truly believe that. 

Daddy CBum <3

Having played football endlessly for the better part of half my life, sacrificing my social life and other things to kick a ball around. So many people didn’t understand, but for me it gave me a satisfaction unlike anything else, knowing I was chasing something bigger, a dream I wanted to manifest for myself. Crucially, I wanted to know that I tried my absolute hardest to achieve it and exhausted all options. I couldn’t live happily knowing that I didn’t put everything into pursuing my dream. Self doubt lives in your head as a result though, why turn up to this late, why wake up early, why miss this just to train. Not everyone will get it and that’s perfectly fine. I’m realistic about where I can go with this, but at the same time I’m not going to limit myself because if the past month has proven anything, opportunities come to those who put their head down and fucking graft. I’m no religious guy, but I believe good things come to those who put their head down and work and make changes. 

This whole idea does definitely stretch to the army lifestyle as well, the main topic of this blog obviously. Everyone gets treated differently, based on your personality, the way you carry yourself etc. That same principle of working just as hard when no one is watching definitely applies in the army, especially those who have goals and ambitions with the SAF. You never know when you’ll be rewarded for things you may see as normal and just what needs to be done. I’ve experienced this personally, and you’ll always get comments saying you’re doing too much and trying hard. But my logic has always been, if not me, who? Who’s going to spend that extra 30 seconds to do something menial that no one else wants to do for the sake of everyone when you’re all tired as fuck. I think it’s ingrained in me to think that the little stuff adds up, and that by me doing small shit like this I’m saving not only myself but my guys. Because if you do it for someone that’s tired as fuck, the favour will be returned, the culture of brotherhood is so important because that’s the only way you’ll get through 2 years in this place. You need to be willing to sacrifice for one another when maybe no one is looking in order to enjoy benefits and freedom in the long run. Everyone’s tired as fuck, everyone wants to go back up to bunk and pretend the day never happened.

 I know I’ve got leadership qualities and have taken on responsibilities my whole life that I didn’t have to in school, football and the army but that’s just the way I am. I feel like I need to do more, at times that’s a bad thing because it leaves me exhausted but I can live with that knowing that I’m achieving what I set out to do.

You shouldn’t be scared to be yourself, but more importantly, you shouldn’t be scared to better yourself through self criticism.