An update...

 Well...that was an unplanned hiatus from writing these, hopefully I'll be able to do them somewhat regularly and keep them informative/entertaining.

Since my last post, I received my posting (what I'll be doing till I finish my service). I was posted to OPFOR Company, part of the Armour Training Institute (ATI) at Sungei Gedong Camp. Now, Sungei Gedong is known as one of the worst camps to be posted to in Singapore due to the fact that it is located in the middle of nowhere (said to be nearer to Malaysia than the hub of Singapore) and the stench that it has. Because it is so far removed from the city, it is situated next to cemeteries and farms which bring about many a ghost story and a horrible smell that can only be described as 'smelling of shit'.

You know the where, now what exactly am I going to be doing here? Well OPFOR (Opposition Force) serves under Armour Infantry, and our job is to act as the enemy for Singapore's Armour and Infantry troops during their practice missions. We are deployed into the jungle/buildings to simulate enemy forces and help Singapore's Armour and Infantry forces specifically improve. Because we fall under Armour, we have the privilege of using tanks, however because we're the 'enemy' we're thrown the shitty old tanks to use for training and our missions. 

Now for the stuff that you don't know unless you're part of OPFOR. All Privates that come straight out of BMT must complete a three month trade phase where you're taught more advanced Infantry tactics so that when it comes time to 'fight' against them, you know what they're doing. During this three month phase you are treated like absolute shit, you've got no rank on your uniform, you're nobody. But after this three month phase? You've got certain privileges that most people in units (aka people that not trying to become Sergeants or Officers) don't get. You can order food into camp, bring your phone around and most importantly do nothing all day unless there's a mission (rare).

To end this update off, I'll share some of the interesting things that have happened to me in my three weeks at OPFOR. 

Firstly, on everyone's first day at the company we sat through talks from our OC (Officer in Commanding) who is in charge of the company and our SM (Sergeant Major) who is in charge of discipline and logistics. One person fell asleep during the SM talk, and proceeded to fall asleep twice during the talk from our OC. He wasn't alone though, as four other people all fell asleep in that same talk. Great first impressions if I don't say so myself.

Next, never in my life have I been threatened to be fucked by a man so many times, my Platoon Sergeant really is one of a kind, at least he promises to only fuck us if we open our assholes for him to fuck. What a gentleman. =)

Lastly, potentially the most embarrassing and most army-esque story so far is the aftermath of our SBBs (Stand by beds). An SBB is when a commander (Sergeant/Officer) comes and inspects your bunk and your entire floor to see if it is clean enough. You don't pass SBBs, they're designed for you to get fucked and to be punished. If a commander wants to do so, they can always find somewhere that's dusty or not up to standard. My platoon of 33 was forced to one by one walk up to pieces of dust, tissue and pubic hair and greet them and call them our friend, before turning to face adjacent companies and shout it out. Yes, I shouted out that pubic hair is my friend and that dust is my friend.

I love the army!